Sunday, February 12, 2006

I saw something inte


I saw something interesting in Nancy Miller’s article “Christian Coalition Sets Agenda for 2006 . They want "Multicast/Must-carry" Legislation to Prevent Discrimination Against Religious Broadcasters. I think they should get it. I think it should go something like this: If any carrier has any channel devoted to any religion it must broadcast an equal number of channels devoted to every other religion. That no one wants to provide or listen to such programming will not be considered an excuse for not providing all required channels. The fine for failure to provide equal channels for each religion will be $10,000 per day per missing channel.
Lets see… I think about a half dozen channels should be able to do it for Christianity, I mean I am pretty sure that Billy Graham wouldn’t want to share channel space with Oral Roberts? Catholic and Protestant? Or Baptist and Unitarian? Naw never happen. Now then we need half a dozen for Judaism and half a dozen for Islam and a half dozen for Buddhism and a half dozen for Hinduism ( they got lots of gods so that should be easy) and then another half dozen for Wicken and another half dozen for Quakers, and another half dozen for Shakers (oops they all died out. Kind of self-limiting since they believed in celibacy for all members) I think there is a problem. I am pretty sure I only scratched the surface and fifty channels are gone! Of course in the 500 channel universe…….
Maybe we could do a little at sharing. Do we really need half a dozen Christianity channels? Each sect could carry little disclaimers at the beginning of their programs; “While we are forced to share airwaves with those ‘Holy Rollers’ on just before us, we do not in any way condone their message, Oh and please turn off your set as soon as our program is through as you would not believe the superstitious clap trap that comes up next.” That should be able to cut the channels required down to some manageable number, say 30 or 40 or so.
But what if some religion just can’t afford its own channel. It won’t share (thank God cause its one of the ‘whacko’ ones, is the main thought) but it can’t afford to play by itself either. Remember the rule everybody, nobody, or $10,000 a day for the difference. I think this rule could foster some real interfaith cooperation. Like so: “Hello there Jacob, Jimmy,  Muhammed, Achbar, this is Billy here and first off I want to thank you all for agreeing to be on this conference call. Now as you all know we have a problem here. We are about to get dumped off the airwaves because of that dratted Must Carry Rule. It seems we have a religion out there that just can’t afford to have its own channel. I know I don’t want it anywhere near mine. But our channels are pulling in a good million a month each and I’ve gotten kind of used to the lifestyle, so here is my proposition. I propose we all kick in say $10000 each a month and buy our little problem child her own channel. I really don’t think ‘Elvira’s Divine Digit’ is any real threat to our power base as long as she can’t force us off the air! What do ya say guys? Can we do this little bit of cooperation for the common good? We can handle it! Nobody really has to know. We can work this together to save our Rolls’ and Bentleys right? “ Just imagine what might follow from this first little touch of cooperation!
I say Support The Coalition! Let them know that we can all stand behind them on this. All we ask is a little special wording in the regulation. Nothing big! Honest! All we want is everybody on! Baptists, Presbyterians, Episcopalians, you know! Everybody!